STORIE =]
Saturday, April 29, 2006
I conclude that I'm suffering from Mr A phobia.. Everytime I see his MSN nick popping up I haf the urge to block him nor return his SMSes.. Umx.. how did it turn out this way? Nan dao zhen de lian peng you dou mie ban fa zuo le ma? Umx.. But I guess bo bian oso..
Anyways.. went guitar concert as part of a photog member haha.. Free tix.. Before that initially wanted to go home and change but had Bio make up so... bo bian -_-" And I had to do photog duty too.. Grrr... speaking of that.. luckily I was there or not ther wun be a single soul tending the booth.. Ended up late for Bio make up but I wasn't the last.. Hahas.. Anyways.. clarified some doubts before switching off the air con for Ms Yee coz she refused to use the chair.. LOL.. -_-" Stayed in sch wif Yi Shan, Tingzi and Angel in the library.. Got so pissed off by the librarian haha.. So we chanegd to another corner.. and tried mugging.. And I think sexual reproduction is interesting but darn hard to study esp wif the many diagrams.. Umx.. haha..
Then went for dinner wif their clique... Quite happy to see Ming Xiu again =) And was quite happy too that I wasn't left out even though i wasn't in their clique.. But from there I truely witnessed what the meaning of true frenship and laughter is all abt.. Mugging isn't entirely everything.. =)
Then went back to the audi.. experimented wif the camera.. haha.. it can be quite cool to use it but it def wasn't easy tryign to grab good lookign pix and holding it was heavy!! Haha.. But after the whole concert.. went off wif their clique and stayed at the study area for a while.. playing wif puddles of water wif Tingzi and XH!! Hahas.. so much that even Jes was like "How old are you guys?" Haha.. and that both me and Tingzi were "glowing in the dark" Hahahas.. Most imptly.. I realised that laughter really covers up all of ur sorrows and take them away.. juz liek how the Golgi Apparatus modifies proteins.. groans..
On our way back.. MX and Siu Lun bought alcohol.. which was split among us all other than Ting.. haha.. The effect was almost instant man.. coz we all started sweating.. And I went home wif Ting in a cab.. A quiet trip home.. Too tired out I guess..
Today.. did nth much lar.. rest day =) and going through 1/3 of the 68 pages of the notes was certainly more than enough.. plus I'm still figuring out the dummy thermochem which is so physics! OMG..
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
10:49 PM
沉默。。往往是我给予大家最好的答案。。往往是痛苦的开始。。往往是回忆的起步。。
曾经想过。。也曾经试过要真的尽我做朋友的责任。。但却失败了。。彻底的失败了。。
中间的时候。。没想那么多。。只知道。。于他们在一起。。只有笑声。。和真正的友谊。。
昨日的我,在吉他晚会后。。选择以沉默度过之后的夜晚。。于大伙儿的晚上显得特别宁静。。想起了当初在淡初的无忧无虑日子。。总是于一群吵闹的人度过。。但是自己却无形中得到了真正的快乐。。也发现到自己之后的大变化都是因学业而造成的。。他日的我。。又会是怎样的?
大概知道他们俩知道我不太对劲。。但却不想说出来。。只选择以“借酒消愁”的方式。。希望能激发自己的眼泪。。因为想哭。。但是哭不出来的滋味。。很难受。。
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
11:34 AM
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Umx.. am slacking for a while since 2mr I only haf mainly Chem lessons.. Hahas.. And it also means that I wun haf much time for lunch too coz I need to do photog duty at the booth.. sian!
Anyways.. got back chem test today.. true enough I did fail.. not exactly unexpected though considering that I did blank out before and during the test.. nearly felt like slapping myself when I saw for myself that I actually do know the answers.. juz chose to blank out at the wrong time.. Haha.. typical of me I guess.. And I dun really catch NMR.. Umx.. Went to find Mrs Tag oso to clarify doubts on continuous random variables.. slightly clearer now.. she made it sound so simple budden.. dunno if I am able to do my tutorials haha... I need my weekend and Labour Day quick!! And.. of coz the eve of the election day too since our sch is a polling centre.. muahahas.. But it oso means that I'll be missing alot of chem consultation sessions and SPA!! Haha.. coz the following week is Vesak.. Umx.. Hehes... not exactly good I guess...
Then... stayed till abt 4.45 before seeing Ms Tay for counselling.. seriously if I din go.. I think by the As I really would have collasped due to stress... Felt abit bad though coz made Ms Tay work so hard =P But yeah.. though initially I did try to avoid eye contact.. Thank God that Ting was there for me Thanks Ting!! For accompanying me to "Zhuang Dan" Or not I wun really haf found the courage to look for her and tok it all out.. Umx.. though it was typical advice.. she did allow me to look at things from another perspective.. perhaps it indeed is better to seek advice from a trained counsellor.. LOL... But yeah.. I did imporve in my Chem lar in her opinion.. Yeap.. so it all boils down to stress but I made the promise of leading a much more erm.. healtheir lifestyle than now.. So yeah.. I shall try to work hard to keep on that promise.. But really... I felt quite relieved after toking to her.. =) HopeI can see improvements in myself then =) Apparently Ms Tay seemed shocked that although we hang out wif diff cliques.. we're juz like confidantes to one another hahas.. But yeah.. I juz like threw everything out lar.. including what exactly happened last year.. haha.. Er jiu's death and so on.... No wonder she said crying is contagious LOL.. But well.. she made me realise that I really can't help feeling lost by this but it wasn't my fault =) Guess it really took time to sink in...And someone keeps getting framed? Hahaha... Ting u noe what I'm toking abt LOL... wif a particular someone.. LOL... But on the whole.. Ms Tay's a nice person =) Hahas.. And someone's got a new responsibility too.. Haha... yeaps.. Thanks anyways.. =)
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
8:44 PM
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Pup's joining photog.. LOL.. now I haf a companion le! Yays.. haha.. Anyways.. today's session was super sian.. Photoshop.. and it was like super freezing inside lar since it was raining.. Besides.. there were only like 5 comps out of 20 odd comps wif the software.. so it was juz a slacking session.. till 6.40!! OMG.. But anyways.. I've landed myself wif free tix to CCC's production again.. haha.. how zhan4 pian2 yi2 I can get.. LOL... Its on a Sun evening I think..
Had a scholarships fair b4 that.. aiya actually no need to attend one oso can.. all the info I think I've gotten it at least thrice.. once at career fair, another last year... and I took summore again this year.. Umx.. As if I can apply for scholarships lidat wif my kind of results.. When ppl are looking for at least 4 As and 2S.. def can't qualify lo..
And i seriously need a mp3 player wif at least a 4GB storage lar.. haha.. Bleahs..
I'm like so lagging behind my tutorials.. sians..
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
10:13 PM
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Umx.. this morning was quite sian considering that we had GP for the first block.. haha.. nvr ever liked Lofthouse's lessons.. den had Bio.. which was another tutorial on data analysis.. sian.. I'll nvr get that right even though dun really need to study for it.. Den asked her the question regarding prac.. hehe.. was like literally dragging my feet out of class.. till she asked me if I had been attending cell.. haha.. obviously not.. I'm like too tired after every single week =) Plus.. last week sports day.. this week guitar concert.. haha..
Then ahd tennis! Which was fun evn though we were like picking up balls most of the time... haha and holding the racquet isn't exactly an easy feat =P Hope next week dun rain or not we'll end up in the dance studio agaiN! -_-"
K lar.. nth much actually.. must haf been too tired out from hafing nightmares this week that I'm feeling tired again.. haha STress factor I guess..
Tutorial time! Arghs..
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
10:08 PM
Monday, April 24, 2006
Someone stop me from ranting please... I'm juz so not me these few days.. Grrr...
Anyways... spent like one hour trying to decipher the Bio prac.. arghs.. But thankfully not only I realised the mistake.. others too haha.. And I'm so lagging behind Maths.. Lost in outer space regarding cdf, pdf and whatever that has to do wif probability! Arghs.. Sian diao..
Reading Aud's blog remined me of loads of things too.. such as.. how long ago has it been since we last met up wif one anotheR? How long ago haf we toked abt life and troubles since the last time we chatted over the phone? Umx.. Call it nostalgia.. I think she prob seldom read my blog than compared to last time too.. But well.. I guess that why they say hao jing bu chang jiu.. there are so many things that cannot stay on in its current state, be it how good it may be.. And how u only realise that you've lost it after u start to treasure things such as the precious friendship..
Blahs.. I'm crapping coz I'm too lazy to proceed on wif NMR and Maths.. both require loads of brain cells too.. Grah... Getting sick and tired of this...
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
9:03 PM
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Can't exactly say that I had an eventful day.. but considering that I had my brain clogged up wif organic chem and bio.. today was definitely much more happening than the rest of the week and it comes as a form of release for me.. even though I do feel guilty for not doing work today hehe.. But I think I deserved it after mugging so hard LOL... Just like many others ;)
Wanted to laze around at home actually but got called down to support LZ for her autograph session so I am juz gg to do a little advert here:
CD title: A moment in time
Price: $18.95 (its the norm)
What its abt: Its a compilation of English songs chosen by Dasmond *Xu Zhen Rong* and Ling Zhi.. shldn't be from our generation though hehe.. but really.. some of them are nice =) Soothing I would say..
Ok.. was deciding if Iwanted to buy but I din regret buying ti coz it was personalised.. as in the autograph coz LZ wrote a message =) And.. I got suan-ed by both of them!! *bish* Haha.. Yeah.. coz I was saying that I broke my disappearance act to LZ den Dasmond was like saying I go eat grass? *can't find the link there though haha.. * Den after that LZ say we always go support her despite our busy schedule so we were like seeing convicts!! -_-"
Yup.. excitement aside.. I still feel quite fatigued.. Spent 1 hr on the phone juz now wif XH.. think all of us have really grown up.. and we can't deny the fact that much as PW was useless, we learnt alot of things from it.. Eg: Friendship.. With that.. would liek to thank my PW grp, TJ 127 for their concern.. shall nvr ever forget our days together and the care u shown from me during what are considered my darkest moments =) Yeah and fantasizing over Wei Jian!! Haha..
Yeah den.. I have decided.. to go.. think some ppl noe what I mean =) But well.. it'll do me good..
Really.. I think that friendships are impt =) And I dun wish to disturb my frens too much haha..
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
10:21 PM
Friday, April 21, 2006
I've had a tiring week juz like everyone else.. we're all drained by the tests..
But anyway.. it was 5 lessons straight juz now.. for prac we did recrystallisation and our grp wasn't successful!! Umx.. wonder why.. haha.. Ms Tay said it was becasue our shi yun bu jia today.. haha.. ok.. and we had an origami lessoN! Haha.. no lar.. it was juz called "origami" coz we learnt how to fold the miserable piece of filter paper into 32.. Quite fun though =)
Den by the time reach chem lect.. half dead le.. nealry fell asleep coz the topic of electrochem.. too dry and physics to me... But Bio lect.. was fun as usual.. haha.. topic of foetal development is fun I geuss... what a pity Emilie wasn't there haha... She would haf been screaming over it ;)
Went to see Ms Tay for a while before satisfying my growling stomach.. grrr... wanted to finish my plate of nasi lemak den Danx say I sure cannot finish.. and true enuff!! -_-" Well.. heck lar.. haha.. Den was sports meet.. Was quite hot so we went into the shelter and nearly scared poor Ms Tay into thinking that 25/05 has nobody present *she was telling J CHong that haha* when she was at Temasquare until she saw Enci and Chung Ee who told her where we were.. aiya.. spoil the fun haha.. but well.. it was a good luff =)
Sports meet.. only the tutors' novelty event quite interesting haha.. Mrs Loke was quite enthu.. and both Ms Tan and Ms Yee took part in them! Haha.. so ke ai.. But other than that was quite sian.. cheerleading de still ok ba..
Den on the way home wif Ting.. toked to her..
still deciding if I need counselling... den looked for Dang they all for dinner..
So now.. too tired.. shall update next time.. bb!
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
10:48 PM
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Wee~~ I'm finally free of lecture tests for the week! Hehe.. Even though I'm gonna flunk both of them.. but well.. like what I said in my prev entries... if they put chem n bio together... cfm hafta either giove up totally on one or you flunk both.. But well.. Heck lar..
Nth much to blog today.. juz that I'm proud to announce that i actually had the endurance to complete PE today muahaha.. 25/05's spirit was definitely there man! And the best part? Ming Xiu came back! During chem remedial that is.. haha.. And I did notice a very nice trend.. Ms Tay nvr ever calls on me to answer questions.. Umx... wonder why.. But anyway.. yeah was quite a joy to haf him back for one lesson lar.. and he actually replied our messages that we wrote for him! Hahaha.. Umx.. Can't say I wun miss him..
CLC... before that I caught a short nap.. was so tired out after the past few days.. Discussed a little stuff and went off to find dang... bought Xr's prezzie le..
2mr... sian.. Sports meet =(
~*~* kEnIx^rOX *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
8:26 PM
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Sian... Photog is sian today haha... was super slack... *but wait.. since when has photog been interesting?? hmmm...*
Bio test is a goner... Duh... when faced wif Chem and Bio which happen to fall in the same week... obviously you haf to sacrifice one.. and things wun go well if you start panicking when you see the 1st question -_-" Great... this will juz add on to my collection of the pile of failed test papers anyway... But well.. the 2 tests haf really drained me out and no doubt abt that!!
Sehx... Haix... and to think that ppl keep reminding me not to be kan cheong b4 hand... Shldn't haf studied so hard when they juz gave dummy data analysis stuff that require more of u thinking out of the box... *grimaces*
Grrrr... Pissed-off mood this week... K lar.. shall stop my rants here.. and I get to go to guitar concert for free!!! *muahaha.. Cindy are u jealous? =P*
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
5:31 PM
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Shucks.. I am so gg to flunk my Chem test.. and to think I lost sleep coz of it.. -_-" And I think that everyone could tell esp during Bio remedial when I was juz feeling bummed out.. I hope its only because our Chem tests haf always been hard.. But well.. Sighs.. Another failed test that I din wan it to happen that way =(
Bio test 2mr.. and its another which might be worse than Chem... Sian..
I'm so in a melancholic mood today...
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
8:15 PM
Darn... I'm like only 1/2 way through organic and I've only had abt less than 3 hours of sleep... And much less to say I haven even done my chem tutorial.. I hope Ms Tay wun go through NMR today or not she'll really see a super sian me.. and I'll be lagging behind in tutorial already! -_-" Think YX's gonna kill me if she sees me still awake so late..
Ok.. I think this will continue till 2mr seriously coz there's still a Bio test which I haven really started at all.. Great..
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
3:30 AM
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Happy Easter ppl! Hehes...
Anyways.. was quite tired this morning.. haha.. was nearly late for church.. But I wan't as late as someone haha.. who called me at 8.40 to remind me service was at 9? -_-" Haha.. But anyway I was much earlier than she was =) So... Was alone in the freezing hall... until someone finally took the initiative to up the air-con temp.. or maybe switch it off.. I dunno.. But it was juz so cold lar.. haha...
Then took an Easter egg! Lol.. Had to get her to shell it for me coz I din wanna get my hand messed up wif the red dye lol.. Den stood down there for a while before gg to Little India for lunch.. ok the restaurant aws quite alright and as usual she had to force me to eat something coz I really wasn't hungry =P Ended up I can't finish of course even though she did eat some.. haha.. But I can't really say that it suited my tastebuds and she could tell coz I was "savouring" my food so slowly.. man.. But I kind of liked the dessert.. =P Sweet!!!
Oops.. and Queenie sort of chai1 chuan1 me hehe.. coz I had alot of fun luffign at Ms Yee and her Bollywood dance.. and heard from her that mr Lim's injury was quite serious that he needed an op?? OMG... thank God he's fine now?
Den after that coz din exactly feel well.. Must haf been due to the food.. haha.. So went home straight.. and forgot to pay her the money agaiN! grr.. haha..
And the roar of continuous thunder is a little scary esp when u're home alone.. -_-"
Why does time fly so fast when u're hafing fun? but I guess I din really haf much fun coz I was drifting btw studying and sleeping and eating and blahs.. haha... Other than today =P
K lar.. enuff of my crap.. anyway... Happy Easter!!
~*~* kEnIx^rOX *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
5:35 PM
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Its been a tear-jerking day for me today..
Was listening to Hacken Lee's Wen bie de wei zhi made the tears roll down my cheeks.. Ting's songs always lidat de!! Haha... And not only that... the lyrics are soooo meaningful.. And I heard Xiong Tian Ping's Huo Chai Tian Tang and I started to haf tears in my eyes again.. wow! How emotional I can get...
You can find the lyrics of Hacken's song at Ting's blog.. I'm too lazy to repost hee...
Anyway.. I slept for 11 horus again today.. so felt quite revitalised since I took another nap in the afternn.. LOL.. And I finished Organic.. hopefully I dun haf to go thru the notes again or not I wun haf the time to look through my tutorial book.. -_-" And there's still Bio test upcoming.. sians.. haha.. Hope can finish at least one chapter 2mr..
Umx.. nth much today actually.. And I think I'm feeling tired again.. *yawns*
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
10:08 PM
Friday, April 14, 2006
I've juz realised that I do wan alot of English songs that are nice but I dunno the titles.. haha..
Man.. and My shoulders still ache... aftermath of yest's PE.. haha..
Mardi Gras rocks! Man.. I miss it... JC life is indeed happening despite the heavy workload! =) LZ was right in the enjoying part.. haha.. My mind's swarming abt from the Mardi Gras events yest...
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
11:21 PM
Wow.. my Good Friday was really Good coz I slept for 12 whole hours until my mum was like "You can juz take breakfast.. dun need lunch le.." Haha.. Duh.. I felt as though I've nvr slept so much before even in the past!! Good I suppose... muz be coz din sleep well for the past few weeks.. Studies and everything.. but well. .I think the only time I get to rez now is during public holidays coz even now my weekends are always filled up..
And My feet ache!! Hahaha.. I think I'll hafta survive on them for awhile..
Sometimes I really wonder why my tears choose to flow at the wrong time.. Was like literally shouting over the phone wif Nokia and my tears juz dropped from their ducts.. I guess I'm not too suitable for the aggressive type uh? ;) But well.. no harm there.. juz that sometimes I really wish that i can cry at the appropiate time instead of.. Umx.. dunno how to explain it too..
K lar.. I'm still tired.. Wonder if you can call this a hangover from Mardi Gras.. But according to XH.. Everyone was indeed tired out from yest's event.. haha.. Umx.. and speaking of her.. I think I owe her an apology.. Sorry ger.. I din mean to make u feel that way.. its juz that i was naer a breakdown that day.. too depressed lar.. dun worry too much abt me.. I've always been lidat de =) Sorry if I did gave you a scare..
Umx.. shall stop here coz I'm tired le.. I'm feeling liek a pig!! Arghs..
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
10:15 PM
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Haha.. wanted to blog 2mr but couldn't contain all the excitement alr.. haha.. Mardi Gras was definitely a blast! Hahahaha...
So.. started off with the parade.. hahaha... Mrs Loke was in a clown costume, den I think both Mr Liu and Mrs Lim were Red Indians.. muahaha.. so enthusiatic! Umx.. but I think some of us were quite disappointed that Ms tay din really dress up.. Even though she did offer us an Egyptian costume?? Lol.. no matter how much we persuaded her to parade in front of us she juz wun do it LOL... tok abt the authority of a teacher hahaha...
Yeap.. den was staying at the parade square for quite some time listeing to CO's performance and lending Ting support coz the sound system was really a failure.. hahaha.. And after that stayed on to watch modern dance!! Great job ppl! Even though u wun see it.. haha.. And hugged Amanda, Shun Min and chatted wif Yu Min.. haha.. miss tehse ppl loads.. and took pics wif Ling and Li Xuan! Haha.. of coz I dun miss certan ppl who dun even bother to like even smile at me now.. I think soem of u noe who I mean...
Next went on to audi for a short while coz the performance ended shortly after we sat in.. haha.. so went to LT 1 to look for Ms Yee and took a photo which was accidentally deleted!! I was soooooo frustrated wif myself that I nearly cried out loud on the bus!! Wah.... sorry XZ and Cindy.. Umx.. but well.. bo bian.. no affinity haha.. but she wore a costume that revealed her good figure and belly! LOL...
Den walked around and saw Ms Tay! Haha.. Ok lar.. she fu yan us for a while and said wah today all dres sup till so pretty.. haha.. which was quite true coz the 3 of us were wearing skirts hahaha... And kept seeing her aorund after that..And ran to LT 1 upon hearing SPeedy!! Haha.. Mass dance!! and went to peng Pekkie's chang for a while before leaving for the final goodie part at the parade sq... fashion parade wasn't exactly nice... but the Bollywood Dance by the tutors certainly was!! Poor Ivan Lim hurt his foot while jumping off stage.. and I couldn't get very good view so couldn't take pics too =( Haix.. so not many pics ='( Only one wif Cindy and another one wif the dancers.. ='( Wah!!!! Why my cam dun haf recycle bin.. ='(
Den Mass Dance!! Think we had a fun time there.. cool =) But both me and Cindy paid for it lar coz our feet really felt sore after that.. you bet it was... bare footed dance.. haha.. Mass Dance rocks!!! TJ rocks.. =) And so does Mardi Gras!! What a happening day!!!
Anyway.. HAve a Good Friday ppl!! TJ rocks... =)
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
11:49 PM
Umx... few hours time gonna haf Mardi Gras.. Shall update all abt it 2mr!! Hahaha...
Yeap.. SO yest did DV campus.. was in sch till abt 7 haha.. but had alot of fun.. its sort of you jing also you xian =P Coz had a sneak preview of all the programmes that are gg to be taking place later and its all glam... glam and more glam!! Haha.. Plus we managed to interview Mr Liu *Phew.. we half thought he would scold us coz of the last min notice.. haha.. but he din! Instead he was quite nice and even shared interview techniques! Haha... I tot I was a lil rude when he said that we shld make interviewees feel at home and I replied that TJ was our 2nd home =P Haha.. even Mrs Lim luffed at that ;) But anyway.. was holding my hand steady so much that now they're shaking like what lidat.. haha...
AND... I saw Ms Yee perform! Hahahaha... The Bollywood dance =) Haha.... Den caught her for the interview since she was the only teacher amongst the rest that I noe much better =) And was suaning her again haha.. saying that I can luff at her after the interview haha.. and purposely asked if can do the interview in chi not hahaha... ;) Ok I think I was fairly cheeky yest ;)
Haha.. and the other thing was that I finally think that I can pass the Maths test!! Yeah man!! Haha.. So had a full lunch and Danx was saying that my appetite really reflects my mood ;) Haha.. yeap I was super happy yest... and I got quite a good progress report lar.. No Fs even though I was expecting one for Chem..
As for today... not much mood to study coz of Mardi Gras.. so.. took back PW results.. Band 2.. noe we shld be quite satisfied le considering that our previous batch din do that well ( we scored 99.3% of band 1 and 2 while the previous batch according to Ms Wong was less than 50% ) But still.. abit disappointed.. Think Ms Tay could sense the disappointement for our grp and came over to say we did well.. umx.. oh well.. anyway.. main objective is the A level exams now and who cares abt PW now anyway!! Haha.. Well.. I do treasure and miss those days at PW though.. TJ 127 rocks!! Yeah man!!
K lar.. better go and bathe now.. see ya!!
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
3:26 PM
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Functioned on Fri's timetable today.. and was so super tired le coz yest really din sleep much.. Haha.. So bought Haribo's Sour sweets agaiN! Hehe.. Kept me awake for the rest of the day =)
So.. because we thought it was practical.. most of us din finish the Stereochem tutorial =P Only stopped at question 4 lol.. So it was literally juz a copy and obtain answer again.. hahaha.. Shoots.. next time I better stay ahead of the class.. Dens.. nth much for the lectures juz that I was trying very hard not to fall asleep =X 2mr's lecture test is taking its toll on me man.. I need my Fri.. haha.. and Ms Tay was like.. "Umx.. this Fri is good" *groans* haha.. what a cold one there =P Like its gg to be any good lidat when I need to start studying for Chem and Bio.. haha..
So after that had 2 sessions of Chem and Bio consultation.. wow... By the time I finished was like so super hungry and having gastric le -_-" But.. haha.. thankfully there was a 5 min break in btw.. Ms Tay assured me that I was doing fine and there was a little progress.. Umx.. but that's only for the organic part.. I think Physical part really cannot make it lar -_-"
Den Bio.. ok lar... I've heard the chapter on Excretion quite a no. of times le but listening to it again was beneficial I guess =)
And I'm still so freakingly angry wif Nokia! GRRRRRRRRR.......
I guess that explains why I'm so tired these days... Wished it was Fri today hahaha...
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
9:47 PM
I din mean to blog at this hour and take time off chem but.. haha... a little break does help sometimes esp when I've been up since 2.30 am and had less than 4 hours of sleep..
Today *Monday* was a cruciating day because apart from the severe lack of sleep that I've been suffering from these few days.. I was fighting a battle against myself to gain my confidence back and to stop the negative emotions from flooding and empowering me.. and that includes the numerous incidents of breaking down even when I'm thinking of nothing.. As a result... Felt so dead during lessons and couldn't really absorb what was going on..
During Bio.. did Growth and Development instead of Data Analysis.. and I was by then already super saturated wif the endless Maths info abt cdf.. pdf and whatever... So.. ended up asking Ms Yee literally everything after the lesson.. But I reckon that I din really absorb much too coz I was too tired.. and it was quite obvious to her too coz after that she called me up during lunch surprisingly to apologise??? I cut her off the ohone partly coz I was eating but mainly coz I din wan to cry over lunch please...
I really apologise for being so like oblivious to others' concern for me.. really.. I feel as though the world is closing apart on me sometimes.. In fact when I SMSed her telling her that I was fine.. I felt as though I was telling a white lie.. I juz din wan her to worry too much abt me.. But thankfully she din pick up my call at 3 coz I dun wanna cry b4 Ying Xian comes for Maths!!
I noe I can be abit overly tense and sentimental at times or maybe in layman terms : xiang3 tai4 duo1.. but well... Maybe I'm a lil too stressed..
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
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4:01 AM
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Had my 1st Maths tuition today.. can't help but feel that my Maths is really beyond salvation sometimes.. simple concepts oso cannot get.. sigh... why dun I juz haf the aptitude for it.. grrr... I wanna get into uni quick! Haha...
Yeah.. as a result of waking up super duper early this morning and feeling lethargic from the pace of everyday life.. I din go church.. Gave me sometime to calm my emotions down too..
It was her who helped me out wif that =) I think I will owe her a big thank you ;) But doubt she'll see this though hahaaha... I had a big cry out after like dunno how many days.. I was feeling so tired of everything and I think she sort of saw through what I was feeling via my sms.. Heb 4:16 was really the one that made me let go of everything since I couldn't cry out previously...Oh well.. haf so many things left undone... But I'm sure I'll be able to do it wif His help =)Can't wait for Good Fri and Mardi Gras this week! =)
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
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heart @
8:10 PM
Saturday, April 08, 2006
如果说时间能够倒流。。 真希望能够活在从前的自己。。
如果说我不受大家的影响。。 那我就真的在自欺欺人。。 他的离开。。 确实是个损失。。 只后悔当初没好好去认识他。。 或者应该说。。 他总是关心身旁的人。。 例如当初在chalet时。。他是第一个发现到我心情不好。。 也主动地问一声 “没事吧?” 这句不起眼的话。。真领我对他刮目相看。。
花了我几天的时间,才让我真正的了解到。。他真的走了。
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Wonder why.. I feel so nostalgic.. Perhaps I've been feeling very drained over alot of matters.. probably trivial as it seems compared to others but to me it definitely plays a big part of my life and it involves alot of things..
Anyway.. went to do a little bit of shopping today.. haha.. or I shld say... dragged my mum out to the Nokia shop again.. and really blew my top there.. but well.. was a good time spent wif Mum coz had a long chat wif her after liek how long? =) Bought a white top.. and made me realise that indeed it has been a long time since I've last enjoyed myself thoroughly! Ah but well.. 好景不长久。。I must haf been so cooped up at home that I finally went out to tou tou qi since yest..
I often wondered how I can be a light in others' lives when back in my own life.. its such a big mess.. Occasionally I really wish that I wun be one that rant so much.. perhaps I'm really the hao sheng person that my mum always said I am.. Perhaps I'm juz too emotional.. Perhaps I need to take a break from my own life..
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
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heart @
10:59 PM
Friday, April 07, 2006
好累好累。。 从来没试过那么累的感觉。。突然之间好像有很多事情还没完成的感觉。。
不知为何自己每到周末都会那么疲倦。。但总是觉得这一个礼拜中似乎没做到什么东西。。 星期三报考A水准时彻底地让大家领悟到真正的考验就在后头,而这所谓的“后头”已经离我们越来越近了。。悲观一点的看法是我完全不觉得自己适合这场考验。。也已经显示出压力的状态了。。而另一个观点则是。。过后的大把时间就真的能让自己轻松下来了。。
相信这就是所谓的“先苦后甜”吧?
Well.. physically and mentally saturated of coz.. So being the tired person.. I din go for cell again.. Instead.. I chose to lose control of my emotions and started crying in my room the minute I hit my bed.. Its juz to vent it out yeah? But its a horrid feeling when you want to juz cry it all out to get it over and doen with but yet the tears jzu refuse to flow out sometimes.. How ironic.. But anyway.. Perserverance is the main thing here I reckon and I shall juz do my bez to whatever I can.. I hope.. *cross fingers*
But anyway... I think my emotions kept running on an all high today.. One minute I was luffing wif Shona over the Mardi Gras thing.. and chatting wif Pup happily.. den the next I was in a super bad and melancholic mood.. And during Ms Tay's session today I felt as though I've nvr learnt Chem before in front of XH and Angel.. Juz felt as though I was so way inferior then..
No wonder ppl always say that JC is the toughest time of the education years..
Think Chem SPA was quite alright though.. haha I juz assumed that there was NH3 gas present since my Devarda's Alloy test was positive and the teeny weeny edge of my red litmus did turn blue hahaha.. SO... Hehe..
Wonder why I'm slowly reverting back to my old self when I shld try and unravel some more ways to calm myself down and haf better time management.. Furthermore.. if others who are busier can cope.. why can't I... right? I'm juz aiming for a triple C or at least a D for my Maths.. Is that too high an expectation? Sometimes I wonder if I really am bu zi liang li..
End of week.. only marks the start to more hectic weeks ahead.. Jiayou ba..
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
10:19 PM
What a nice day.. haha..
1st of all.. did a weird route for running today.. ran across some alley into the private housing estates there n basically it was juz up the slope and down the slope and up the slope and down the slope again! Was quite tiring but really.. sometimes its better to haf a chaneg of route too.. and it wasn't as taxing too.. juz that din ahf the motivation nor the yi4 li4 to run.. and we ended back up at the Lucky Heights' slope.. haha.. Well.. can't imagine where I got my tui dong li from last week..
Looking back.. stayed back for photog yest.. which in my opinion was finally a constructive meeting coz we were discussing abt Mardi Gras.. and abt the booth to be set up.. but apparently I might or might not be there coz I'm down for DV campus shooting.. as a back up lar juz in case.. but in any case.. I'll still take a wee bit time off to slack I guess... haha.. Mardi Gras sounded so much liek Bazaar by The LAke held in CCH 3 years ago.. hahaha...
As for juz now.. after washing test tubes at the lab.. 5 of us went to eat.. haha and saw our class photo! Haha.. what a weird pose but.. nevertheless.. it was nice =) Was stuck in the LEP room doing a fair bit of reading the papers *yeah.. liek finally* Then proceeded on the stereochem.. which really sucks.. coz we (Cindy and XZ n me) spent like dunno how long on juz 2 questions.. haha.. But I think being wif them really motivates me to work w/o falling asleep in sch LOL..
Den had CLC meeting.. I feel as though I'm caught in the middle btw Fatima/ Shona and Ke Si/ Jiang Shuang.. so hard to function as a zhong jian ren.. and suddenly I find that I'm down for DV campus? Umx.. But well.. Shall juz help out to the bez of my abilities.. So.. because of Mardi Gras planning stayed back till nearly 6 again..
K.. back to Chem I go.. Dun think I'll haf the energy to go for cell today.. End of week..
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
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heart @
3:17 AM
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
I seriously wanna get the darn word of "STRESS" out of my head..
If 1 dept postpones the test.. its ok.. but if 2 depts... shift them down.. and we're toking abt chem and bio here.. it's a hell of a time.. Wow.. But well.. jiayou the the ppl hafing tests in he following weeks to come then.. haha.. and to think that term 3 is gonna be worse.. sighs.. I see a repeat of what's worse than my sec 4 days..
Anyway.. did Bio skill A today.. which is also quite demanding.. and reallly drained my energy by lunch.. coz need to think of rationale again.. but I'll say at least its not as hard as chem coz dun need calculations.. Need lar.. but.. eh thats not alot of worry yet I guess.. but need to noe abt respiration and blah.. Looks like I need to revise my year 1 stuff again... And while toking wif Pekkie, who is my lab partner now.. haha.. looks like she might hafta tahan my rants and questions till the end of SPA.. I feel as though I've reverted back to the old me now.. and when I say "old me" I not only mean that I continue to work hard.. but also.. the mood swings and tense feelings that can be detected by Pekkie too.. What a vicious cycle..
K now.. back to Bio and Chem and Maths.. What a nice combination of subjects.. PE S later.. I'm gonna come home wif loads of aches..
** 2 hours later **
I am still struggling wif eh stupid Poisson DIstribution and oso my Bio prac report.. darn... Seemed to have accomplished nothing.. good thing Xh is onlien to help me =P Thanks gal! =)
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
2:56 AM
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Watching Campus Superstar now.. I think both Cindy and I agree that Zhang Dong Liang's singing is much better.. haha.. But Teresa and Zhi yang got in! Haha.. So happy for them..
Graahhh... I need to go and service my phone again... sickening.. Nokia better haf a good explanation for this man.... serviced twice w/n a week!! Darn it.. What is happening to Nokia's products? I will not trust them agaiN! Sickening...
Anyway... went church today.. I think I muz haf eaten alot today.. haha.. but couldn't finish the plate of oily wonton noodles.. haha.. but the ice cream was nice!! Hehehe... Den at church was toking to Mei Hui.. and during the 2 ppl praying session.. I think I shed tears until she was quite worried.. haha.. Umx.. but well.. I feel quite relieved coz I really had a stressful week.. but I noe there are always ppl wif me and the role that we muz play is to support one another ;) Umx.. Going is tough but with friends and Him.. it'll be more or less better to walk through this path =)
K lar.. back to tv!! Haha.. cham.. haven finish my tutorials yet.. haha.. And I'm already feeling a little bit tired le =p Jia you ppl... for another hectic week ahead!!
~*~* kEnix^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
9:33 PM
Saturday, April 01, 2006
I seem to have lost the past drive that I had for my studies and the passion that I once had so strongly for Bio.. I juz can't sit still for a few hours doing my tutorials.. Umx.. too tired and oversaturated? Perhaps so.. Coz despite hafing slept for so long today (12 hours) I still feel as though I haven't rested in years...
Felt abit nostalgic today as I went through my beloved neoprints wif Pup.. Cindy.. and everyone else.. everything seems to haf changed.. Jillian's in Aust now.. I wonder if she still rems me.. But well.. I'll nvr forget her coz she's always the one there to help me relax and go to the gym.. cry it out.. and.. everything despite our short acquaintance... Was quite sad when she said she was migrating to Aust... Den looking at the rest.. I'm reminded of my sec 3/4 days.. esp when I juz saw the testi that Kai Lin gave me at friendster... I miss all of them.. And it was them who were always there for me when I needed it.. compared to now.. I seem to haf become numb to everything in JC.. We can chat over MSN but its diff from seeing each other face to face and even so.. one meeting isn't enuff...
Den again reading XH's blog.. reminded me alot of things..
回忆总是美满的,而冥冥之中只想起了当所说过的。。缘分的关系吧?无论如何,他们在我生命当中扮演了重大的角色。。我一定会好好的从现在开始珍惜在我身边所有的人。
Mum's in M'sia now since 2molo is Qing Ming.. haha.. the rain jzu reminded me of the chi poem that all of us are so ever familiar wif it...
"清明时节雨纷纷"
Nostalgia~~ Emotions..
~*~* kEnIx^rOx *~*~
keeping them in my
heart @
9:38 PM